Ben could date anyone he wants, but he only has eyes for the new girl — sarcastic free-spirit, Ani. Luckily for Ben, Ani wants him too. She’s everything Ben could ever imagine. Everything he could ever want.
But that all changes after the party. The one Ben misses. The one Ani goes to alone.
Now Ani isn’t the girl she used to be, and Ben can’t sort out the truth from the lies. What really happened, and who is to blame?
Ben wants to help her, but she refuses to be helped. The more she pushes Ben away, the more he wonders if there’s anything he can do to save the girl he loves.
**Beware of spoilers**
This book was easy but really hard to get through. It was an easy read, I read it in one sitting. But mentally, this book was pretty draining. It’s not something that should be easy to get through mentally. The characters didn’t, so the readers shouldn’t either.
Ben meets Ani at a 711 and is automatically transfixed with her. He likes her straightforward attitude and through the first part of the book we get see their relationship form and become something akin to love. They didn’t move too fast and they kept it simple really. They really cared for each other.
Ani ends up going to a party that Ben decides he doesn’t want to go to. The next day he ends up meeting Kate (Ani’s friend) at the hospital. Ani was possibly drugged (we don’t know for sure) and was raped by a couple of guys. She doesn’t remember anything that happened that night.
Ani goes on an endless spiral that starts to ruin her and Ben. She is trying to cope with what happened to her. But how do you cope with that? With not knowing what happened so you’re stuck assuming the worst? She gets out of Ben’s control and starts treating herself as some kind of pleasure for men.
This story is about Ben and about Ani. I feel like it’s more about Ben though. He’s filled with guilt for not going to that party. He thinks that if he were there, it never would have happened. I feel like he gets obsessed with trying to fix Ani. He does everything he possibly can to help her. He tries to get her to talk to someone, anyone. Much to his effort, she doesn’t think it’ll help to talk.
As a result of Ani spiraling, Ben does as well. He gets into fights, he loses the swim scholarship he was working so hard for and he distances himself from his family. He doesn’t realize what an effect she has had on him and he doesn’t give up on her until the very end.
There’s so much more I need to know about this book. How did her mom end up taking it? Did Ani ever find the help she needs? Does Ben seek the help he needs?
This book was dark. It was impossible to put down. Even when I reached the last page I wanted to keep reading more. I need more. I need some closure to this book!!!!!